A Healthy Relationship vs. An Abusive Relationship

Understanding the Difference Between Healthy and Abusive Relationships - Learn key characteristics of healthy relationships compared to abusive ones to foster better personal well-being. Discover more at Chesapeake Mental Health Collaborative.

Healthy Relationship vs. Abusive Relationship

The infographic above provides a clear comparison between the characteristics of healthy relationships, which are based on equality and nonviolence, and abusive relationships. Understanding these differences is crucial in recognizing and addressing all forms of abuse, including emotional and verbal abuse, which are serious and harmful. Survivors may experience one or more forms of abuse.

Who Are Victims of Abuse?

Everyone deserves to be safe from domestic violence, and anyone can be a victim. Studies show no characteristic link between personality type and experiences of domestic violence. Victims do not cause abuse to happen, and abuse is not a “natural” outcome of interpersonal dynamics.

In the US:

• 1 in 4 women report having been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner. (CDC, National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 2010)

• 30-60% of perpetrators of partner abuse also abused children in the household. (CDC, National Center for Injury Prevention & Control)

• 32% of women sought help at hospital emergency rooms, inpatient units, or ambulatory care for injuries specifically resulting from abuse. (Campbell et al., 2005)

Intimate Partner Violence Dynamics

Over time, violence almost always escalates in both frequency and severity. Repeated violence tends to follow a three-phase cycle:

1. Tension Building Phase: Arguments and threats.

2. Acute Battering Phase: Beating, choking, punching, use of weapons.

3. Honeymoon Phase: Period of relative calm.

Domestic Violence or Intimate Partner Violence is a pattern of coercive behavior characterized by the domination and control of one person over another, usually an intimate partner, through various forms of abuse.

Forms of Domestic Violence:

• Physical Abuse: Hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, pushing, punching, beating.

• Verbal Abuse: Constant criticism, mocking, making humiliating remarks, yelling, swearing, name-calling, interrupting.

• Sexual Abuse: Forcing sex, demanding sexual acts, degrading treatment.

• Isolation: Making it hard to see friends and relatives, monitoring phone calls, reading mail, texts, or messages, controlling daily activities, taking car keys, destroying passports or documents.

• Coercion: Causing guilt, sulking, manipulating children and family members, always insisting on being right, making up impossible “rules.”

• Stalking: Watching or following, repeated threatening calls or unwanted messages, monitoring your social networking, posting unwanted photos or videos of you online, sending unwanted gifts, breaking into your home or destroying your property, using cameras in your home or spyware on your computer or phone.

• Economic Control: Not paying bills, refusing to give money, not allowing you to go to school or work, not allowing you to learn a new job skill, refusing to work and support the family.

• Abusing Trust: Lying, breaking promises, withholding important information, being unfaithful, being jealous, not sharing domestic responsibilities.

• Threats and Intimidation: Threats to harm others, threats to harm pets, using physical size to intimidate, shouting, keeping weapons and threatening to use them.

• Emotional Withholding: Not expressing feelings, not giving compliments, not paying attention, not respecting feelings, rights, opinions, and concerns.
  

• Destruction of Property: Destroying furniture, punching walls, throwing or breaking things, abusing pets.

• Self-Destructive Behaviors: Abusing drugs or alcohol, threatening self-harm or suicide, driving recklessly, causing trouble.

Get Help Today

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. The House of Ruth Maryland provides resources and support for those in need. Visit House of Ruth Maryland for more information.

Understanding the differences between healthy and abusive relationships can empower individuals to seek help and make informed decisions for their well-being. Remember, everyone deserves to live free from violence and abuse.

Need Counseling?

If you need counseling for issues related to domestic violence or abuse, please fill out our intake form to get started with our supportive services.